NJN Network

With the release of the aging report, I count 5 stories about MJS since yesterday. In her honor, we are naming this “Myrtle Jenkins Smith week on NJN”

If you have a pet peeve, bit of gossip, old boy friend story or picture of MJS for Our Lady of the Week send it along.

Everyone may as well get in on the party. If she’s going to run Robert and try to run us, we at least can have some fun.

How did that happen? Did she get elected? I don’t know…

Using the handy dandy Search feature, you can find 38 stories with references to MJS.

Search – after Pages, Posts and before Categories.

NJN Network, February 21, 2009

To RG
From MJS

Rob, I’m really excited and thrilled to submit our healthy ageing strategy. As you know, “Dead on the Island Today” is by far the most popular section in The Guardian, so I suggest we give this policy initiative a really snappy name like “Getting Decrepit on the Gentle Isle”. This could be a real winner for us.

You will note a big change for us in this report. Normally I believe a 10 point strategy to be the most professional – enough to look serious and committed, yet not too much for the little people to feel they understand. This time I have condensed it into just five points. This is partially because I am anticipating the possibility of a Cabinet reshuffle, and I wanted to allow for the likelihood that you may shuffle Neil to this portfolio on the grounds that being near-comatose and near-dead are pretty much the same thing. I was also mindful of Chris LeClair’s comment that he was tired of policies exploding in his face, so the less there is the less the risk. (He is right that this approach worked very well for you in the first year, when there was no policy at all.)
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by Heritage Guy, special to NJN Network, Charlottetown, PEI, Canada, February 19, 2009

Mayor of Brighton Robert Ghiz and Minister of Most Things Carolyn Bertram today announced the future home of the new provincial museum and artefactory.

“We have come to an arrangement with the Cymbria Lions Club in Rustico” announced Ms Bertram. “This is highly appropriate as the Cymbria Lions are very public-spirited and made me, er I mean The Province an offer we couldn’t refuse. Some ungrateful little people in the francophone community may object, as it seems the new inlet we are dredging for mooring access to the museum may drown their new French school, but I always thought Acadians were experts in building dikes, which I believe is aboutox in French. Visitors will be especially impressed by the period feel of the building – toilets from an earlier century and the tasteful worn linoleum of a different era.”
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By Stephen Pate, NJN Network, Charlottetown, PEI, February 15th, 2009

February 15th and I survived Valentine’s Day without a major goof. Satirists, critics and advocates can be cranky by times – I’ve discovered it’s good to put down the mask on Valentines, Birthdays, Anniversaries and Christmas.

Guys on the whole are not day-in-day-out romantics. Of course, that excludes you and I who have finely developed romantic skills. Like when the special one is leaving for work, shopping or whatever, we always look up from TV, computers, guitar practice, working under the car and say “Good bye Hun. Don’t forget those bolts at Canadian Tire and some Keiths.”
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Premier Robert Ghiz, can't get any respect only pity

Over heard by the cleaning staff

By Stephen Pate, NJN Network, Charlottetown, PEI, Canada, February 14, 2009

Editor - Freshly minted Senator Mike Duffy, recent of CTV political commentator fame, has garnished considerable press with his “not your daddy’s son”, “rambo”, in “bed with Premier Danny Williams”, and “getting the shaft” comments. The press is hounding Duffy who avoided the reporter’s scrum yesterday in Charlottetown. Well you could hardly call a lame duck question from PNP nominee John Jeffery a scrum, more like a scum. Duffy is a media darling everywhere. He even got his own NJN Network video, Mike Duffy Shut Up. Here is the transcript from the Jones Building cleaning staff interviewed Friday the 13th. UPDATE The Guardian reported on February 20th, 2009 that this meeting occurred but you read it first here.
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File under, changing deck chairs that evening on the Titanic

By by Interior Design Hag, special to NJN Network, Charlottetown, PEI, Canada, February 13, 2009

Hard times in the Maritimes. Word reaches us that Mme la Ministre Bertram is redecorating the Throne Room, er, her office. No expense is being spared as artisans and other horny-handed sons of toil labour under the eagle eye and unforgiving artistic genius of the Michelangelo of Hunter River.

Brocades are brought in in sample lots and Canalettos are assessed for how they show off her eyes. The finest ebonies and other rare woods, ripped from the dying jungles of east Asia. Fourteen painted panels will represent her accepting the grateful thanks of the tributary groups of her wide-ranging ministry, created in the style of Norman Rockwell.
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Mike Duffy, his addiction is harder and harder to hide

His friends say he’s acting wild as a bug

By Stephen Pate, NJN Network, Charlottetown, PEI, Canada, February 13, 2009 with stories from everywhere, newspapers, TV, bars, you name it

NJN broke the “shut up” Blackberry story and now we can report Mike Duffy’s addiction. Newly minted Conservative Mike Duffy has admitted to friends his addiction is out of hand. “I can’t seem to stand on my own two feet,” Duffy told friends at a party in Ottawa.

In Halifax on Saturday he told one female dinner guest “I’m itching like a man on a fuzzy tree.” She declined to be identified and declined to sit next to the Duffster after his remarks.
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Alannis, part of Myrtle Jenkins Smith's rural strategy, the bitter little pill

Hiker discovers PEI Rural Stategy in fields of Alexandra

By Countryman, special to NJN Network, Alexandra, PEI, Canada, Feb 13, 2009

While wandering around the fields of Alexandra, I found a piece of paper with the following contents. I believe it may be related to the long awaited rural strategy document. I wonder if it got dropped and lost and hence the delay in the rural strategy? Anyway, I am glad to share it with your readers.

To: RG
From: Myrtle

Really neat strategy for Rural PEI

Hi Rob,

Thanks for the cheque. I did a really slap up job on the research for this one. Not only did I check the first page of Google links on a “rural strategy” query, I also checked Yahoo. I have not charged you any more for this additional work. As with the Wind Strategy, I am like really really convinced that a 10 point plan demonstrates professionalism, structure and all that good stuff that Chris Leclair is always going on about. And also looks good on a flip chart. I think flip charts are so dynamic and corner office managerial. BTW, I was amazed to discover that the Island goes on for several miles after Summerside. Who knew?
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by Sportsguy, NJN Network , Charlottetown, PEI, Canada, February 10, 2009

Premier Robert Ghiz hiked over to the airport to welcome Sports Minister Carolyn Bertram and to congratulate her on her magnificent feat in winning the junior curling gold for PEI.

The Premier of Brighton said: “I have always said that PEI is just one rink, and this achievement, Madame Speaker, reminds me, Madame Speaker, of – ahhh – all the wonderful things Val Docherty has done for the province, Madame Speaker, with her – ahhhhh – tireless work to promote sports and culture, Madame Speaker, and – ahhhhh – to walk the streets of Downtown Breadalbane, Madame Speaker, bathed in the golden glow, Madame Speaker, of – ahhhhh – yet another policy developed by Myrtle Jenkins-Smith, Madame Speaker, fresh from her triumphs, Madame Speaker, in the glorious fields of Alexandra …”
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Ghiz, unravelling

Our correspondent L’Acadienne alludes to the efforts by Premier Ghiz and Minister Carolyn Bertram to black list some perceived enemies list. This is disappointing but predictable. We would like to remind Bertram and Ghiz who might be a little fuzzy on the limits of power, we have a Charter of Rights and Freedoms that restrict their ability to “get even” As for fear, I’ve already been threatened by a biker “club”. We witnessing the end of a regime on PEI. Premier Ghiz is unravelling like a ball of twine going down hill. Ottawa is threatening his money supply and life line. He is attacked on all sides for his policies or lack of policies.

Mike Duffy kicks sand in his face and Ghiz is the proverbial 98-lb weakling. Strong man Danny Williams comes to rescue while Ghiz cowers in his office. “He can’t get no respect.” paraphrasing Rodney Dangerfield. His sad performance at the Liberal fund raiser showed a despondent and rudderless leader. I hear comments about one-term. My prediction is Ghiz won’t make it to 2011. You cannot govern when your subjects hold you in derision. Ghiz has boxed himself into a corner with no way out other than resignation.
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Anyone who watched the Jon Stewart Show last night, January 20, 2009, would realize the show has lost it’s raison d’etre. With George Bush gone, Stewart’s fizz had fizzled. The jokes were lame, including a bad reaching-for-nothing wheelchair joke about Dick Chaney. All the ex-presidents and Stewart look old and tired too. Stewart’s Washington reporter told Stewart he was uncool. Unless Barack Obama falls flat on his face, Stewart will be doing jokes at retirement homes in Miami. Come to PEI Stewart, here we have corruption and scandal: politicians, media, business. The audience is small but the stories are big.